In the last quarter of 2019, one of my life's biggest decisions stood before me. I was about to take the plunge to leave my first full-time job. For many who had worked at least 3 - 5 years, this was probably nothing new to them. A mix of push and pull factors converge and the decision to leave is contemplated. They start looking out for something different, go for some interviews, then leave after another job offer is secured.
However, for many teachers who stay on for more than 5 years in their first career, this seemingly simple process is filled with many doubts. What job should I transit into? Are my skillsets really transferrable? What if I have to take a huge pay cut? Would this even be a reasonable move at all? Those were the questions that plagued my mind as I got closer and closer to making my decision. The burnout was real after 5 years in service. The list of tasks that awaited me each day seemed never-ending and the increased responsibilities over the years overwhelmed me. I was unsure of what lay ahead, but at that time only one thing was certain - my body desperately needed a break.
There are times when you come to a place where you know you just have to do something. Worried as I was about my future and even how my friends and colleagues would view my decision, I started to share my plans with my batch mates, who had by then become close friends and confidantes. They were naturally concerned but understood why I had to take this path. Looking back, it may not have been the best decision but it felt like the best decision I could make given the circumstances.
When the time came for me to tell my RO (Reporting Officer), she was initially shocked and we had a few rounds of conversation after that. Nonetheless, it became evident after a few weeks that I was determined to stick to my exit plan and no one could change my mind. From that point on, I actually became more and more relieved as my last day in service drew closer. I remembered that my last trip that year was to Bali with some of my batch mates during the year end school holidays, and it seemed like a good way to close this chapter of my life.
Once I got back to Singapore, it was during the festive season and many Christmas carols were playing in the malls. I remember walking around the downtown area and feeling a sense of lightness as I anticipated my freedom ahead. Strangely enough, I was not in a rush to embark on a job hunt and wanted to take things slow. A thought came to mind: book a trip to Japan during the sakura season. It had been part of my bucket list for the longest time but the nature of my job made it impossible for me to witness the cherry blossoms in their full glory. Little did I know that the covid storm was brewing in the background.
When it finally became clear that covid would utterly change the way we work and live, my travel plans had to be shelved. As the months went by and we entered into a lockdown here in Singapore, there were several days I found myself questioning my life purpose. Back in those days, budgeting and cashflow management were unknown skills to me. With minimal income and less than five figures in my bank account, I started to worry about money running out quicker than expected.
*The above is an attempt to share my thoughts and feelings when I left my teaching job a little more than 4 years ago, and how I eventually navigated that part of my life journey. If my story resonates with you, do check back again for the subsequent parts :)
Comments